Tips on How to Write a Eulogy
The following article has some useful tips you may want to consider if you are asked to write a eulogy for a relative or loved one. Although I do not agree with the last paragraph (eulogy is not a biography), it does contain some helpful pointers. I do feel that some biographical information is insightful and helpful to those attending services who may not be especially close to the deceased. Being in just this position on several occasions myself, learning more about the departed’s life opened my eyes to things I had never known about the person.
How to Write a Eulogy for Your Loved One
Writing a eulogy for your loved one is indeed an
emotionally daunting task. As you begin writing, you
remember the good times you’ve celebrated, and the bad
times you’ve weathered along with your loved one. The
nostalgia will fill your eyes with tears, but you must get
over your emotions and write a “from-the-heart” eulogy - a
eulogy that is a sincere and an emotional farewell. Here
are some ideas and tips on how you must pen your eulogy for
your loved one and make it sound like an ode to his/her
life:
1. You must first plan your eulogy: its duration should be
well under ten minutes but should still capture the
poignant highlights in your loved one’s life.
2. Remember not to speak anything that is negative and do
not reminiscence about touchy issues. Keep the eulogy
simple, optimistic and anything but gloomy.
3. Having decided the theme and the tone, you must now
collect content. To collect content, you will have to look
through photo albums and note down the happiest or even the
strangest moments and events in your life. You must also
note down your loved one’s special qualities, passions,
habits and what was it about him/her that made him/her so
endearing.
4. Once you have the content ready, you must break it up
into three parts: beginning, middle and end. The beginning
can be an inspirational quote or even a poem or anything
that will stir the audience; the middle portion will be
pure nostalgia: the moments you shared, the ups and downs,
exhilarating and quirky episodes, quotes and comments and
whatever other content you have gathered. The end of any
eulogy usually carries a punch. Of course, you need to
remember that your punch lines must be in context and,
though they may make the listener smile, they should
inspire him too. For example, “Mary was the one who used to
push me into writing notes, so that I should leave nothing
to memory; forgive me Mary, from today onwards I shall
consign everything to memory. Your memories will remain
with me forever.”
5. Though a eulogy is considered formal, it must be written
in a conversational, informal tone. Go ahead and read
samples by all means, but write out your eulogy from your
heart, in your own conversational style.
6. You must not cast yourself as the principal character in
your eulogy - do not forget to mention about people who
were close to the deceased, such as her best friend and
relations.
7. You must always hand over a copy of your eulogy to a
trusted friend or relation, who can finish it for you just
in case you are overwhelmed by emotions.
A eulogy is not a biography - it is more like recounting
personal experiences. And when it comes to your loved one,
you must make the best effort to produce the best piece you
have ever written. After all, it’s for your loved one - for
someone you gave your heart to and received happiness,
warmth and a fulfilling life in return.
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Patricia Bennett publishes a wealth of information on this
subject.
See www.thefinalrest.com