Sympathy Sentiments

Grieving the loss of a loved one is hard enough, having to endure the holiday season can be make it all the more painful – especially if the death was recent, or occurred on that holiday in the past.

Having a friend loose their father today, just five days before Cristmas, brought that reality home to many of us sharing their grief. The home is already decorated – most of it done by the deceased – the tree is up, presents bought, parties planned, and it all came to a sudden, unexpected halt. Christmas will never be the same to this family, as it is for other families who have experienced the same kind of loss.

The holidays become a special time of remembrance – every situation is different, every family different and the ways they deal with a loss will vary just as much. They may choose to carry on the holiday traditions as they were before the death, knowing that their loved one would want it that way. Some may find the holidays hard to bear for a while and simplify, or tone down the celebrations, choosing to remember their loss quietly and privately.

If you are the one grieving, know that it is ok and that most people will understand. If you are offered help, try to accept – it will help lessen the stress of the season and your grief. Take care of yourself and do not overindulge in food or drink, as you will add to the stress your body is going through. Rest.

If you are trying to aid a grieving friend or family member, try to remember that this is a very difficult time. Don’t think that you can make them forget about their grief by forcing them to celebrate, when that is the furthest thing from their mind. Just let them know that you are there and offer your help in constructive ways, such as running errands for them or having a meal together. Having people that care nearby will mean the most at this time.

Attending a funeral service or memorial is a time that reminds us of how short life really is – no matter whether the person you are there for is young or very old. When you hear the speeches and remembrances of others, it is common to consider how we ourselves, might be remembered.

In a world of diverse cultures, beliefs and personalities, everyone basically wants the same thing when it comes to how they are remembered. They want to be remembered in a positive light not for their accomplishments, but more importantly, that they meant something in the lives of others.

If you are in the position of having to speak at a service, or maybe just expressing your sympathies to someone who has lost a loved one, you will more than likely speak of the good they may have done, or a trait they had that made them so special.

Often people are remembered by recalling a particular incident that shows how they affected others. Perhaps a funny or light-hearted story that shows how the person brought laughter to others, or examples of how they were a special mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, etc. It is at times like these when we may re-examine our lives and reconsider what our priorities in life should be.

How do you want to be remembered? As someone who was successful in business and made a lot of money? Or as someone who touched people’s lives and did their best to make the world a better place? It is a very interesting question to ponder.