Sometimes, especially when a death is sudden, just isn’t enough time to be creative, or to look for a certain poem or passage that you are having trouble remembering. Going to the bookstore or library is not always convenient at this time either.

So, whether you are writing a eulogy, or just trying to find the words to put into a sympathy card Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep is a downloadable resource of over 250 poems, quotations and readings from over 180 authors.

Because it is a downloaded product, you will have instant access to the material you need at any time, day or night. The works of Elizabeth Browning, Rudyard Kipling, Robert Louis Stevenson, Mark Twain and so many more, will be at your fingertips. It is 160 pages in a very user-friendly PDF file that works on both MAC and Windows PC. You can read it using the free Adobe reader that is on most everyone’s computer. If for some reason you don’t have it, you will be given the link to install it.

Free gifts are included also with the purchase: A free guide on how to write and deliver a eulogy, Bereavement for Beginners (a guide for the bereaved or those try to help), and free excerpts of A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis.

Never be at a loss for words again with Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep – Over 250 funeral poems – Order Here.

Blank note cards work well for thank you notes – there are some made especially for this situation, for example: .

Following are some basic examples to make the task easier. It would be a good idea to add something personal for those people who were particularly close to the family or the deceased:

Dear Sam,
Thank you for the beautiful flowers (basket, food) that you sent to the church (our home, funeral home). The (type of flowers or food) were a favorite of Meg’s and I am sure she would have loved them (it). Your thoughtfulness during this difficult time is greatly appreciated.
Warm Regards,
Mary Doe & Family

Dear James,
Thank you for the donation (you can name organization if you want) that you made in honor of Mary’s memory. We appreciate your generosity and support during a very difficult time.
Regards,
Sam Jones & Family

Dear Mary,
Thank you for the kind note (or sympathy card) you sent after John’s passing. It is during times like these that we realize how much our family and friends mean to us. We truly appreciate your encouragement and support.
Fondly,
Jane Smith & Family

Sympathy Wording – How to Ease the Writing Task

By Bob Matthews

Composing Sincere Sympathy Wording is Not an Easy Task

Choosing sympathy wording for bereavement cards is never a simple matter. You feel like you are “on the spot”. You do your best to make your words sound genuine and sincere, but it is always difficult to put your true feelings into words. However, if you take a little time to plan out your message and follow the tips in this article, you will see soon be able to see remarkable improvements in your sympathy wording.

Personalize Your Sympathy Wording

While you can certainly send preprinted sympathy cards, your message will have more impact and be better appreciated if you take the time to compose it yourself. I am not suggesting that you can only send blank cards with your words exclusively being the only words on the inside. It is perfectly acceptable to send a “standard” store-bought card with a preprinted sentiment on the inside, but be sure to include additional words of your own in addition to your signature. In fact, if you chose carefully, the preprinted words in the card may actually complement your words and serve to make you message stronger.

What to Include in Your Sympathy Wording

One thing you will certainly wish to express is your own sadness and feelings of loss. These words will not be easy to write. It is hard to express our true feelings – and they generally do not translate easily or well into the English language. Be careful not to over-embellish your language here. Flowery or pretentious language will have a tendency to sound insincere or phony in this situation. Keep it simple and write conversationally. Write as if you were speaking and your words will sound natural and sincere.

Most importantly, to show your support, you will also want to include an offer to follow up or help in some way. I will give you a call tomorrow. Maybe we can meet for dinner. Or, I know you’re going to be busy this week. If you need someone to watch the children, just let me know.

A Difficult Job

Most people find it much harder to compose sympathy wording than birthday greetings, anniversary wished or other holiday greeting. Those latter occasions are happy and joyful and consequently, are easier to speak and write about. On the other hand, the passing of a loved one is a very delicate situation. Additionally, the person receiving your greetings is most likely in a delicate and vulnerable state of mind so we must take care in all of our communications with them.

Look for Inspiration

To make the job easier, feel free to search online or look for a suitable book to help compose your sympathy wording. A book that I happen to use is a book titled Words to the Rescue. The phrases in this time-saving book are written so that they can be borrowed and written directly on the card. However, I prefer not to use them “as-is” but to customize them to make them more personal and appropriate for the situation at hand.

So, for example, if I am trying to find exceptional sympathy wording for a friend who has lost their father; I might choose this sentiment from the book to use as a springboard: I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your grandfather. But from what you told me, I know how much he was loved and will be missed.

Using the basic structure and essence of that phrase, I could rework it: I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your father. But from the all the stories you told us about your family vacations, I realize what a vibrant and uplifting person he was and how much he will be missed.

Fight Against Sympathy Wording Writer’s Block

Sure, it’s hard to write effective sympathy wording. It’s a touchy subject and it’s easy to write words that sound insincere. But by simply following the tips in this article you can be crafting improved sympathy messages immediately. Also, I recommend that you purchase a resource for inspiration.

I recommend Words to the Rescue by Steve Fadie – mostly because I’ve never seen another book like it. For more information on Words to the Rescue, and to find out how you can download some FREE SAMPLES from the book, see the paragraph below.

About the Author: One of my favorite handy resources for helping me write sympathy messages, birthday cards, floral cards – greetings of any kind – is a book called Words to the Rescue. It’s great for composing sympathy wording or sentiments for any kind of cards. With more than 1000 phrases and sentiments to choose from, it will be a great resource for years to come.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=484404&ca=Death

Waking to Tears is book that touches on a subject that very few people discuss – losing a loved one to violence. It is comprised of essays, stories and poems written by people around the world who have lost loved ones to violence.

The moving pieces in this book expose the pain and grief of losing some one close to violence. In sharing these experiences, an awareness and sense of healing is brought about to all of those suffering a tragic loss.

Unfortunately, our society has become over-run with violence. Young and old, all races, religions and classes are affected everyday. That is why this book is a must-read for those who have lost loved ones, and for those who have not, as it will help you to know that you are not alone and that what people are going through in these situations are genuine and life-changing.

Whether or not you have personally lost a loved one to violence, Waking to Tears will touch your deepest emotions.

The best way to express your condolences would be to send a handwritten, card or a brief letter, addressed to the person in the family to whom you are closest, or to the entire family. Basically, along the lines of: “I was terribly sorry to learn about the death of (person’s name) . May you find comfort in knowing that so many people care and are thinking of you and your family at this time. ”

To make your notes extra special, add a little note that refers to how special that person was, by either sharing a personal story/memory of the deceased or by noting their admirable qualities. If you can offer any assistance (and be prepared to make good on that offer), do so.

Try to keep your message as brief as possible, limiting yourself to about one page, as the person/family will be receiving many expressions of sympathy and will be emotionally drained.

Sending a floral tribute is a very appropriate way of expressing sympathy to a family who has experienced the loss of a loved one. Flowers express a feeling of life and beauty and offer much comfort to the family. A floral tribute can either be sent to a funeral service or to the family s residence. Here are some suggestions to assist you in sending sympathy flowers.

Funeral Basket- Appropriate to send to a funeral or memorial service. Pricing will vary depending on the type and quantity of flowers. Ask your florist for details and availability of specific flowers.

Funeral Spray- This is a large arrangement designed in floral foam and attached to an easel. It is appropriate to send to a funeral service. Sometimes they are transported to the gravesite. Try to order a spray at least a couple days before the service, as it takes time to create this large arrangement. An alternative to this artistic style is to have your florist use a cross form. Your florist can deliver this spray to the service with an identification card, including your message.

Wreath- A beautiful alternative to a standard funeral spray. Wreaths are also attached to an easel. Wreaths are often placed at the service, and sometimes moved to the gravesite. Some wreaths can be heart shaped. Ribbons with sentiment can also be added for a personal touch.

Casket Cover- One of the most impressive sympathy floral designs is a casket cover. They do come in a variety of sizes. Casket sprays come in Quarter, Half or Full Casket Style which is the whole length of the casket. Because it would be difficult to accomodate more than one of these large designs, you will want to make sure that the family has not already arranged for one of these. This is typically supplied by close family members. These are one of the more expensive sympathy floral designs. These tributes also need to be ordered in advance, as they are large and take time to create.

Inside Casket Piece- A memorial tribute specifically made to be placed in the casket. Whether it be a small clutch of flowers, a garland or a small wreath, this flower design can be placed on the inside lid of the casket, for open casket services. This is also typically supplied by immediate family, and not sent as a sympathy arrangement.

Flower Vase- If you are unable to send something to the service, consider sending a vase of flowers to the family s residence. This is appropriate before or after the service. It is best not to send it the day of the service, as the family will not be at home to accept delivery. A beautiful vase of flowers can express your sympathy to the entire family during their difficult time. Include a message card with your name(s). Your florist can recommend an appropriate style to send to your recipient.

Peace Lily- An indoor green plant with white blooms, appropriate to send to the family s residence. Be sure to have the florist add a message card, just as you would include with a flower arrangement. The Peace Lily is popular as a sympathy plant, most likely due to it s namesake. Your florist may also be able to suggest another blooming plant.

Some final notes:

Pet Loss can be just as tragic to someone as losing a human member of their family. Don t forget to send flowers to those mourning the loss of a beloved pet. They will appreciate your support and condolences.

Consider sending flowers after the funeral. It is also a thoughtful gesture to send flowers even weeks after the funeral service to show the family that they are in your thoughts. It would be appropriate to include a message card letting them know you are thinking of them.

If you are unsure about what would be appropriate to send, ask your florist. They are the experts, and can recommend the ideal floral design to express your sympathy.

Details are very important when sending flowers, especially sympathy flowers. By calling a real local florist located in the town you are sending to, you will be able to speak directly to the florist designing and delivering your floral gift. You will also get a better value.

Tenley McDonald- Former Florist- Now Co-Owner of http://www.flowerpowernetwork.com (Online Directory of Real Local Florists) Ms. McDonald has over 14 years experience in ~Consumer Relations/Marketing ~Customer Service Management ~Floral Design. Please email the Author directly for reprint permission of this article.