Sometimes, especially when a death is sudden, just isn’t enough time to be creative, or to look for a certain poem or passage that you are having trouble remembering. Going to the bookstore or library is not always convenient at this time either.

So, whether you are writing a eulogy, or just trying to find the words to put into a sympathy card Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep is a downloadable resource of over 250 poems, quotations and readings from over 180 authors.

Because it is a downloaded product, you will have instant access to the material you need at any time, day or night. The works of Elizabeth Browning, Rudyard Kipling, Robert Louis Stevenson, Mark Twain and so many more, will be at your fingertips. It is 160 pages in a very user-friendly PDF file that works on both MAC and Windows PC. You can read it using the free Adobe reader that is on most everyone’s computer. If for some reason you don’t have it, you will be given the link to install it.

Free gifts are included also with the purchase: A free guide on how to write and deliver a eulogy, Bereavement for Beginners (a guide for the bereaved or those try to help), and free excerpts of A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis.

Never be at a loss for words again with Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep – Over 250 funeral poems – Order Here.

Blank note cards work well for thank you notes – there are some made especially for this situation, for example: .

Following are some basic examples to make the task easier. It would be a good idea to add something personal for those people who were particularly close to the family or the deceased:

Dear Sam,
Thank you for the beautiful flowers (basket, food) that you sent to the church (our home, funeral home). The (type of flowers or food) were a favorite of Meg’s and I am sure she would have loved them (it). Your thoughtfulness during this difficult time is greatly appreciated.
Warm Regards,
Mary Doe & Family

Dear James,
Thank you for the donation (you can name organization if you want) that you made in honor of Mary’s memory. We appreciate your generosity and support during a very difficult time.
Regards,
Sam Jones & Family

Dear Mary,
Thank you for the kind note (or sympathy card) you sent after John’s passing. It is during times like these that we realize how much our family and friends mean to us. We truly appreciate your encouragement and support.
Fondly,
Jane Smith & Family

Sympathy Wording – How to Ease the Writing Task

By Bob Matthews

Composing Sincere Sympathy Wording is Not an Easy Task

Choosing sympathy wording for bereavement cards is never a simple matter. You feel like you are “on the spot”. You do your best to make your words sound genuine and sincere, but it is always difficult to put your true feelings into words. However, if you take a little time to plan out your message and follow the tips in this article, you will see soon be able to see remarkable improvements in your sympathy wording.

Personalize Your Sympathy Wording

While you can certainly send preprinted sympathy cards, your message will have more impact and be better appreciated if you take the time to compose it yourself. I am not suggesting that you can only send blank cards with your words exclusively being the only words on the inside. It is perfectly acceptable to send a “standard” store-bought card with a preprinted sentiment on the inside, but be sure to include additional words of your own in addition to your signature. In fact, if you chose carefully, the preprinted words in the card may actually complement your words and serve to make you message stronger.

What to Include in Your Sympathy Wording

One thing you will certainly wish to express is your own sadness and feelings of loss. These words will not be easy to write. It is hard to express our true feelings – and they generally do not translate easily or well into the English language. Be careful not to over-embellish your language here. Flowery or pretentious language will have a tendency to sound insincere or phony in this situation. Keep it simple and write conversationally. Write as if you were speaking and your words will sound natural and sincere.

Most importantly, to show your support, you will also want to include an offer to follow up or help in some way. I will give you a call tomorrow. Maybe we can meet for dinner. Or, I know you’re going to be busy this week. If you need someone to watch the children, just let me know.

A Difficult Job

Most people find it much harder to compose sympathy wording than birthday greetings, anniversary wished or other holiday greeting. Those latter occasions are happy and joyful and consequently, are easier to speak and write about. On the other hand, the passing of a loved one is a very delicate situation. Additionally, the person receiving your greetings is most likely in a delicate and vulnerable state of mind so we must take care in all of our communications with them.

Look for Inspiration

To make the job easier, feel free to search online or look for a suitable book to help compose your sympathy wording. A book that I happen to use is a book titled Words to the Rescue. The phrases in this time-saving book are written so that they can be borrowed and written directly on the card. However, I prefer not to use them “as-is” but to customize them to make them more personal and appropriate for the situation at hand.

So, for example, if I am trying to find exceptional sympathy wording for a friend who has lost their father; I might choose this sentiment from the book to use as a springboard: I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your grandfather. But from what you told me, I know how much he was loved and will be missed.

Using the basic structure and essence of that phrase, I could rework it: I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your father. But from the all the stories you told us about your family vacations, I realize what a vibrant and uplifting person he was and how much he will be missed.

Fight Against Sympathy Wording Writer’s Block

Sure, it’s hard to write effective sympathy wording. It’s a touchy subject and it’s easy to write words that sound insincere. But by simply following the tips in this article you can be crafting improved sympathy messages immediately. Also, I recommend that you purchase a resource for inspiration.

I recommend Words to the Rescue by Steve Fadie – mostly because I’ve never seen another book like it. For more information on Words to the Rescue, and to find out how you can download some FREE SAMPLES from the book, see the paragraph below.

About the Author: One of my favorite handy resources for helping me write sympathy messages, birthday cards, floral cards – greetings of any kind – is a book called Words to the Rescue. It’s great for composing sympathy wording or sentiments for any kind of cards. With more than 1000 phrases and sentiments to choose from, it will be a great resource for years to come.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=484404&ca=Death

Having a friend loose their father today, just five days before Cristmas, brought that reality home to many of us sharing their grief. The home is already decorated – most of it done by the deceased – the tree is up, presents bought, parties planned, and it all came to a sudden, unexpected halt. Christmas will never be the same to this family, as it is for other families who have experienced the same kind of loss.

The holidays become a special time of remembrance – every situation is different, every family different and the ways they deal with a loss will vary just as much. They may choose to carry on the holiday traditions as they were before the death, knowing that their loved one would want it that way. Some may find the holidays hard to bear for a while and simplify, or tone down the celebrations, choosing to remember their loss quietly and privately.

If you are the one grieving, know that it is ok and that most people will understand. If you are offered help, try to accept – it will help lessen the stress of the season and your grief. Take care of yourself and do not overindulge in food or drink, as you will add to the stress your body is going through. Rest.

If you are trying to aid a grieving friend or family member, try to remember that this is a very difficult time. Don’t think that you can make them forget about their grief by forcing them to celebrate, when that is the furthest thing from their mind. Just let them know that you are there and offer your help in constructive ways, such as running errands for them or having a meal together. Having people that care nearby will mean the most at this time.

In a world of diverse cultures, beliefs and personalities, everyone basically wants the same thing when it comes to how they are remembered. They want to be remembered in a positive light not for their accomplishments, but more importantly, that they meant something in the lives of others.

If you are in the position of having to speak at a service, or maybe just expressing your sympathies to someone who has lost a loved one, you will more than likely speak of the good they may have done, or a trait they had that made them so special.

Often people are remembered by recalling a particular incident that shows how they affected others. Perhaps a funny or light-hearted story that shows how the person brought laughter to others, or examples of how they were a special mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, etc. It is at times like these when we may re-examine our lives and reconsider what our priorities in life should be.

How do you want to be remembered? As someone who was successful in business and made a lot of money? Or as someone who touched people’s lives and did their best to make the world a better place? It is a very interesting question to ponder.

There is a special section where you can leave a “Moving Tribute” to a friend or loved one who was lost on 9/11, as well as share your memories with others through their 11 Days of Remembrance link. This is beautifully put-together site and a wonderful way memorialize a tragic loss that we will never forget. Here’s the link – www.legacy.com/Sept11/Home.aspx