Oh, we can talk about the best cold medications and if cherry cough syrup tastes better to kids than orange. We can recommend preschools and sneakers. But the hardest part of parenting is the least often discussed. The roughest aspect of being a parent is losing a child.

Then we clam up. We don’t want to hear. We are threatened. If her child died, mine could, too. What can we do when parenting goes beyond the normal expectations? What do I say? friends ask me with a look of agony in their eyes. I feel so helpless. I can’t empathize, I haven’t had a child die.

You can help. You don’t have to stand there with a blank stare or excuse yourself from the conversation. You can be ...